I recently reposted a story from @beauty_redefined on Instagram that received some welcome feedback. I especially appreciate any engagement that challenges my posts because it helps me practice my message, one that literally goes against everything mainstream media tells us the meaning of ‘health’ is. The post said:
‘Some people cannot fathom why weight loss compliments can be harmful. They say they just want to celebrate people’s wins! Consider these Q’s to help you celebrate responsibly:
- Will I risk making them worry I thought they were disappointing or wrong before?
- Is it possible I’m actually praising the results of disordered eating, depression, sickness, or some other cause of weight loss?
- When they gain weight, will it be difficult for them to reflect on all the praise they got that isn’t happening anymore?
- Could my comments cause further body shame or anxiety for someone else hearing or seeing them?
- Would it serve them more if I celebrated who they are, what they do, and how they make me feel?
- Am I making sure they know I value them as more than a body and that isn’t conditional on how they look?
When you celebrate someone for their weight loss or body transformation, are you celebrating ‘them’ or are you really celebrating the dangerous myth that thinness is best at any cost?’
The response I received argued that according to these considerations, it would be risky to compliment someone on anything for fear of saying something ‘wrong’. I can completely sympathize with that sentiment. Then as I was reading Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body Is Not An Apology, I came across the perfect response to this concern:
‘You will make a mistake…Creating a radical self-love world requires our willingness to have challenging conversations about privilege, power, history, culture, inequality, pain, and injustice. We will mess up…that doesn’t mean we quit. It also doesn’t mean we become defensive and retreat to judgment and blame. It means we apologize and try again, holding fast to our intention to connect with other humans in different bodies from a place of compassion and shared humanity. As you move the conversation of radical self-love from an internal dialogue out into your family, community, and world…commit to engaging in the type of radical self-love communication that grows our understanding of ourselves and one another – the type of communication that fosters global change.’
I could keep the anti-diet message to myself as to not ‘stir the pot’, but global change is what I’m here for. My intention is to connect with others and to make people aware of something they maybe never considered before. That awareness is necessary to cultivating compassion. Here’s to taking down diet culture.