When we are in the depths of an eating disorder, it becomes our entire identity. We lack confidence in our bodies, our abilities, and ourselves. Perfectionism, self-punishment, control, shame, and rigidity become the dominant value system that robs us of vital power and leaves us powerless to its associated thoughts and behaviors.
You’re Meant for a Higher Purpose
It can feel impossible to imagine having a higher purpose beyond controlling our bodies and it can be overwhelming to rediscover the multi-faceted person we truly are. But what’s hard is not impossible — this is one of the key lessons my recovery has taught me.
Playing Big
According to Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big, every woman aspires to something whether she’s an executive, community volunteer, artist, or stay-at-home mom. She says, “Playing big is being more loyal to your dreams than your fears, which are unique to each individual and different from what society makes us believe our dreams should be.” She challenges us to be aware of how our safety instinct intimidates us to stay in a comfortable place and avoid taking risks. Instead, we can hear the voice of the inner critic, but not take direction from it.
Release Perfectionism
The Bhagavad Gita, India’s most famous epic poems and spiritual texts, offers a similar message and encourages us to release perfectionism in order to lead a fulfilling life: “It is better to perform one’s own duties imperfectly than to master the duties of another. By fulfilling the obligations you are born with, a person never comes to grief. No one should abandon duties because they see defects in them. Every action, every activity, is surrounded by defects as a fire is surrounded by smoke.”
Personal Values
To start playing big, it’s important to identify our personal values. Our values affect our choices and create a fulfilling and satisfying life by helping us to live with integrity. Yoga for Eating Disorders Guest Contributor Emily Rutherford shared this same sentiment. As she recovered from her eating disorder she realized, ‘I want to live my life in accordance to my values, not (the eating disorder’s), because my values of passion, connection, trust, balance, hope, learning, and self-acceptance mean so much more to me now.’
Purpose & Relationships
Our personal values ultimately influence our sense of purpose. Having a sense of purpose is the second most predictive element of global life satisfaction, following relationships. It is the coherence between who you are, what you believe, and what you do.
Foster Your Passion
Designing your life after recovery from an eating disorder requires seeing clearly in order to follow your intuition. Positive psychologist researcher Angela Duckworth in her book Grit: The Power and Passion of Perseverance, suggests the following steps in order to foster your passion and purpose:
- Start by discovering what you like to think about, where your mind wanders, and what matters most to you
- Then, develop your interests by engaging with them, seeking a deeper understanding of how and why you connect with them
- Spend time with others who share your interests and find a mentor
- Finally, deepen your passion by trying something new and enjoying the nuances
You are a reflection of divine light and have the power to guide your life on the path you choose. Rediscover your true self and the personal power that lives in you to start living in alignment with your values and overcome your limiting beliefs. Play big, my friends. Value your dreams instead of your fears.
If you’ve been playing small for too long and are ready to rediscover your personal power, you’ll want to grab a copy of my free guide to wellness culture.
