Brene Brown is a researcher storyteller, professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host who studies courage, shame, and The Power of Vulnerability. Her mantra, “I’ll choose courage over comfort” inspired me to share my story when I could think of a million reasons not to.
For as long as I can remember I’ve been worried about what people think of me. As Lindsay and Lexie Kite describe in their book More Than A Body: Your Body Is An Instrument, Not An Ornament, ‘Self-objectification is the invisible prison of picturing yourself being looked at instead of just fully living. It’s the soul-sucking act of policing and monitoring yourself against your worst fears of what someone else might be thinking when they look at you.’ All my life I thought this was normal! I’d never known anything different and often bonded with other women who were also ashamed of their bodies.
Not until I started listening to Christy Harrison’s podcast Food Psyche and hearing stories from women on the other side of disordered eating and body image struggles did I realize my behaviors were part of a bigger problem and that I had a choice in whether I wanted to continue letting them control me or not. I recognized that the way I was treating myself physically and mentally didn’t align with my personal values of acceptance, compassion, love, pleasure, and peace. I consumed all the content I could find about the ‘anti-diet revolution’ and felt so empowered and liberated by the idea that I finally had permission to respect my body without constantly being at war with it.
When it came time to share my project publicly, my inner critic appeared. How would my message be interpreted? Would people think I was vain if I admitted what I was struggling with? What if I sounded dramatic?
And then I remembered Brene Brown’s message – ‘Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.’ I dream of a future where our society doesn’t worship thinness and equate it to health and moral virtue, doesn’t promote weight loss as a means of attaining higher status, doesn’t demonize certain ways of eating while elevating others, and doesn’t oppress people who don’t match up with its supposed picture of health. At a time when we’re increasingly pressured to look a certain way, I think it’s more important than ever to practice acceptance and compassion, starting with ourselves. By sharing my story hopefully other women will be inspired to free themselves from diet culture too. When we honor ourselves for the unique beings that we are we give others permission to be their authentic selves, unapologetically.